you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
