this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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