Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
