Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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