I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
