wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
