Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
