I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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