shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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