The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
They took my balls.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
