I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
you never un-have a 4some
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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