you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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