I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
