i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
