hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
