You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
