Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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