She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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