Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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