is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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