His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
time to smoke my breakfast
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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