Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
