Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He passed out mid-signature
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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