Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sext me about skeletons
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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