Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
