i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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