I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Shame is for Republicans.
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