I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
