Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
