I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
