let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
