laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize