Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
