dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
