she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
