Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
