pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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