I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
