That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
