Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
