have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
