And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
