yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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