You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
