Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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