i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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