It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
