my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
