Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
