Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you never un-have a 4some
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
