Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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