I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
